18th October 2026
In Surviving Hagee, Nat Hagee offers an unflinching and deeply personal account of childhood sexual and physical abuse, family secrecy, and the lasting impact of trauma on their journey into adulthood. Through direct, conversational prose and a willingness to confront difficult truths, Nat explores how early experiences shaped their identity, relationships, mental health and understanding of trust, while challenging the gap between a family’s public image and the private reality of a child’s life.
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| Nat Hagee, author of Surviving Hagee |
In this interview, Nat reflects on the messy, often painful process of learning to live beyond survival, from navigating mental health treatment and relationships to embracing their identity as a trans non-binary person and confronting the challenges of parenting after trauma. Honest, raw and at times infused with dark humour, Surviving Hagee is not a story of overnight recovery, but of setbacks, accountability, love and the courage to break cycles of harm. Above all, Nat’s decision to speak openly after years of silence offers a powerful message of hope to other survivors: that their experiences deserve to be heard, and that they are not alone.
Tell us a little about your book?
Surviving Hagee is my memoir about growing up with a well-known family name while dealing with abuse, secrets, and things nobody wanted to talk about. John Hagee is my uncle, but this book is about what I lived through, not a story about his life. I talk about what trauma did to me, the choices I made as an adult, and what it took to finally start healing. It's raw, it's personal, and I tell it the same way I'd tell somebody sitting across from me.
What inspired you to start writing?
I spent so much of my life keeping things inside, and I got tired of carrying it all in silence. I didn't start writing because I thought I was some amazing author. I started because there was a story I needed to tell, and maybe somebody else needed to hear it. If one person reads my book and realizes they're not alone, that's already worth something to me.
What was the hardest part of writing this book?
Having to go back to places in my life that I had worked very hard not to think about. There were memories that made me angry, memories that hurt, and times I had to admit that the trauma didn't just affect me; it affected people around me too. That's not easy to put on paper. But I wanted to be real about all of it, not just the parts that made me look good.
How did you choose the title for your book, and what significance does it hold for you?
The title Surviving Hagee has more than one meaning for me. Yes, Hagee is a family name people recognize, but it's also my name and part of my history. For a long time, I felt like I was just surviving what happened to me and everything that came after. This book is me finally saying I want more than survival. I want a life.
What do you hope readers take away from your book?
I hope people understand that you can look perfectly fine on the outside and still be fighting things nobody sees. Healing isn't a straight line, and it doesn't mean pretending the past never happened. I also want people to know that what happened to them matters, but it doesn't have to control every decision they make for the rest of their lives. Mostly, I hope somebody feels seen.
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| Surviving Hagee by Nat Hagee |
What projects are you currently working on, and can you offer any hints or teasers for your upcoming work?
Right now I'm focused on getting Surviving Hagee out into the world and having honest conversations about it. I've also started thinking through another book about what happens after you survive, especially learning how to trust, accept love, and build a life when you're used to chaos. The first book tells people what happened. The next part of the story is about learning how to live differently.
John Hagee is your uncle. What was it like growing up connected to such a recognizable megachurch family name?
It's a strange thing when people think they know your family because they recognize a name. People see the public side, but that doesn't tell them what life felt like for a kid behind closed doors. I had my own experiences and my own pain, and for a long time I didn't feel like I could say much about it. That gap between what people assumed and what I lived is part of why I wanted to tell my story myself.
What do you want readers to understand about your relationship to John Hagee and what Surviving Hagee is—and is not—saying about him?
John Hagee is my uncle. That's a fact, and it's part of why the title catches people's attention. But I want to be clear: this is my memoir, about my personal experiences and what they did to my life. I'm not saying he abused me or that every person with the Hagee name was responsible for what happened to me. I want people to listen to the story instead of making assumptions based only on the last name.
When did you realize trauma patterns were still running parts of your adult life?
It wasn't one big lightbulb moment. I started noticing that even when I was in a safer place, I could still react like I was back in danger. I struggled with trust, anger, wanting control, and sometimes pushing away the very people trying to love me. At some point I had to ask myself whether I was still letting old experiences make decisions for the person I am today.
What did healing actually look like for you beyond just 'going to therapy'?
Therapy has been a huge part of my life, but healing was also what I did after I left those appointments. It meant setting boundaries, learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings, being honest about my behaviour, and accepting that some days were going to be harder than others. It wasn't pretty or perfect. Sometimes it was just choosing to respond differently than I would have a year before.
What roles did treatment, supportive relationships, boundaries and your trans nonbinary identity play in reclaiming your life?
Every one of those things has mattered. Treatment gave me tools, boundaries helped me protect my peace, and the people who stayed consistent showed me that love didn't always have to come with fear. Being able to live as myself, including being open about my trans nonbinary identity, has been another part of not hiding anymore. None of it happened overnight, but it all helped me get a little closer to feeling at home in my own life.
How have parenting, love and writing the memoir helped you break cycles rather than repeat them?
Parenting made me think hard about the kind of adult I wanted to be for the kids in my life. Loving my wife and learning to accept love from her has pushed me to work on trust and not let fear run everything. Writing the book made me look at the good and the ugly parts of my choices instead of avoiding them. Breaking cycles isn't saying you'll never mess up; it's making the effort to do better, even when it's uncomfortable.
Surviving Hagee is available in both print and e-book versions:
Click HERE to find SURVIVING HAGEE on AMAZON.COM (USA)
Click HERE to find SURVIVING HAGEE on AMAZON UK
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